Gym Cracks By Jim July 4, 2002 COUCH POTATO PARKING Jim "Babe" Berryman takes a look at America's desire to snag the perfect parking place By Jim (Babe) Berryman MissingNebraska.com Western Nebraska Occasionally when I go "shopping" with my wife, instead of sitting in the mall proper and "observing" people, I remain in the car and watch the activity outside the mall. I'm constantly monitoring people who have to have the closest parking space to the nearest door. This past week I watched a mature woman who spent a couple minutes maneuvering her Lincoln Continental into a space big enough for a Yugo in the SunMart parking lot in Scottsbluff, NE. After several attempts back and forth she thought she had the car situated so she could save a few steps to the front door of the grocery store. But alas, when she tried to open the door on her side of the car, it struck the Budweiser van parked next to it. She backed the car up and inched over a few inches to the right. Now she was able to squeeze out of the car and I mean squeeze out. Fortunately she did not have a person sitting in the front passenger seat because if she had, the person would have to have crawled out the driver's side. Last parking stall in the lot--not on your life. Two stalls down from the van was zippo, nada, not a vehicle in sight and probably 30-40 stalls available if she could have walked an additional 30 to 100 feet. By the way, this lady was not morbidly overweight, just overweight. I can remember one time sitting in the 16th car slot from the front of Wal-Mart. The first seven and eight stalls were usually filled but now here comes Heavy and Heavier in their big luxury car. People amble towards a car in parking stall number three. Heavy and Heavier stop their car abruptly and wait for the car in stall three to back out. The occupants in stall number three were in no hurry to leave for whatever reason. Finally Heavy and Heavier drive by the car in number three slot and appear to glare at the driver of this vehicle. They now sense the driver of the parked car is starting to back up. They "gun" their vehicle missing an older lady by inches, pull a hard right, speed down the next aisle, make another right and yes, they get stall number three. Alll this time stall number seven was available. Two big "mamas" exit the car and plod towards the front door, probably excited over their good luck in getting a stall so close to the front door. A few weeks ago I saw a mother, probably 40 or so, and her 16 year-old daughter impede traffic for several minutes while waiting for a choice parking slot. These two individuals were not overweight, but give them time. Recently I read where 61% of Americans are overweight, 27% morbidly overweight. Fast food places soar in popularity, even some school district's hot lunch programs feature fast food entrees. School physical education programs are among the first areas eliminated/reduced when budget cuts are made. Has American become a "couch potato" nation. Where will it end? Hey, check it out for yourself, the action in the parking lots. Look for a new Gym Cracks by Jim every week on MissingNebraska.com Previous Gym Cracks: 06-23-02: Top 10 Nebraska High School Nicknames Gym Cracks 06-06-02: Better In The 50s Gym Cracks 05-30-02: Dangerfield of Nebraska Gym Cracks 05-16-02: Baseball Sneak Aways Gym Cracks Feedback