Gym Cracks By Jim April 15, 2004 A TRIP TO SEE JERRY Overdue visit to see 'adopted cousin' Jerry becomes life lesson By Jim (Babe) Berryman MissingNebraska.com The trip was 70-miles in duration. It gave me some time to think about the individual I was traveling to visit, a man I had not seen in 25 years. The last time I saw Jerry was at my mother's funeral, some 25 years ago. Jerry liked my mother. Jerry knew mom really cared about him, though he was classified as "different" by many of his acquaintances. I first met Jerry when he was nine-ten years old. He had been taken into protective custody by a human service organization when his family was located living in a car in Omaha. Jerry had never attended school. My uncle and aunt adopted Jerry, so he is my adopted cousin. Jerry experienced learning difficulties. He received social promotions to advance from grade-to-grade, but he persisted and graduated from high school when in his early 20s. After the death of his adopted parents, Jerry entered the work field, without a support system. He tried several jobs and failed to meet the respective job's obligatory criteria. Jerry confided to me years ago at one time he had held a part-time custodial position with a car dealership. On occasions after he would finish cleaning the urinals and stools, employees of this company would pee deliberately on the floor or on his shoes. After several tumultuous years living on his own, Jerry suffered a nervous breakdown. Jerry's nervous breakdown was so severe, he entered an assisted care/retirement home twenty-one years ago, at the age of 41. Twenty-one years living in a mundane world. The building reeked of an institutional smell, this one more so, because of its age. Most everyone knows the smell, even in a clean and modern institution. He was waiting at the end of the hallway. A smile engulfed his face as I approached. We politely shook hands as I said, "It has certainly been a long time Jerry." I was the object of a show-and-tell to the 40-residents of this institution. Much like a lower elementary youngster showing off one of his parents to fellow students. A mundane living--two clients in small rectangular rooms. Clients can have televisions in their rooms, but the rooms are not wired for cable. Thus two television channels can be watched. Jerry doesn't read well, if at all. Even if a resident has money to spend, there is not a business in the community where he/she can purchase any item. An occasional six-mile trip to a community of 1131 people is apparently the social highlight for many of the residents. Still when it was for me to leave, he hugged me and as tears trickled down his cheek said, "You're the first visitor I've had in years. Thanks for coming." On my trip home, I thought about how I could have made Jerry's life more pleasant over the years. I could have deviated 70-miles off I-80 to see him as I hurried across Nebraska. I could have sent birthday cards, Christmas gifts and made occasional telephone calls. I could have--but didn't. On my trip home, I made a promise. Jerry will receive a monthly visitor. He will be in our home when parties are held and at Christmas. He has already received a belated birthday card for his 64th birthday. Although I feel Jerry was "warehoused" by being placed in a home so far from family and friends, I and other members of his immediate family should have shouldered the major responsibility of his social needs. I feel Jerry knows I will be a part of his life for his remaining years on this earth. Post/Read Feedback PREVIOUS GYM CRACKS: Click Here