Gym Cracks By Jim March 13, 2004 ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER GOOSE CHASE Retirement offers plenty of time to chase geese and an overweight squirrel By Jim (Babe) Berryman MissingNebraska.com My friend Jack writes he is enjoying retirement. I'm not sure yet. Marcia and I recently moved to an area called Rainbow Lake, south of Grand Island, Nebraska. Approximately 40 houses border this lake (actually a sand pit). We are close to medical facilities (a plus for "older people"), grocery shopping and convenience stores. A modest mall and some strip malls are located four to six miles away. Cultural activities are available at Hastings College and the University of Nebraska/Kearney, each institution a short drive. Grand Island has the Stuhr Museum and there are other cultural attractions in the Kearney-Hastings-Grand Island area. Lincoln is a short 90 miles away, via Interstate #80. We are blessed with an abundance of wildlife, not a wild lifestyle. Maybe blessed is too strong a word. Birds (sparrows, finches, blackbirds, robins, and even an occasional cardinal or two) eat at the backyard feeders. No problem with these small birds. The duck and geese population is something else. At times there are over a 1000 of these creatures on this lake. Another lake, directly north of our house, is home to many more geese/ducks. Our property has a 125-foot sandy beach. Ten to 15 of the houses on this lake have sandy beaches. For some reason the geese prefer our beach to the others. Thus the real problem--geese "poop" on our beach. I go charging out and the geese either fly or swim away. My trusty dog remains on the porch and his look tells me he's thinking something like you go get 'em big guy. When I return to the confines of the house, these "varmints" return. We have three automobiles and only a two-car garage. Occasionally the geese vent their frustration on the car as they fly over from the one lake to the other. Then there is "Sammy, the slinking" squirrel. Field corn is placed in the trees. The other squirrels are satisfied with this dietary handout. But not Sammy! Sammy's main purpose in life is to feast on the sunflower seeds and other nuts provided for the birds. This squirrel is a contortionist and a trapeze artist. I have watched him take several nasty falls, but immediately he is back on his feet and up the tree in pursuit of the delicacies provided for the birds. Have you ever seen an obese squirrel? He's close. I also make a mad dash in his direction several times a day. I wonder what the neighbors think. Here is an old man chasing an obese squirrel. I haven't caught him yet, but I am getting closer. I guess I am going to have to become a volunteer or find a part-time job. How can I tell my friends when they ask what are you doing now, "Oh, I chase geese and squirrels." Even my friend Jack would probably give me his weak smile and disappear into the crowd. Feedback PREVIOUS GYM CRACKS: Click Here