SIGNS YOU'VE LIVED IN NEBRASKA TOO LONG: -You've been on television at least 3 times describing the sound of a tornado. -You take pride in knowing that on Saturdays, Memorial stadium is the third largest city in the state. -You brag to other Nebraskan's about being from Omaha. -You know how to pronounce Beatrice, Norfolk and Kearney. -You think Coors is an imported beer. -"Back East" means Chicago. -You think pheasants are the most beautiful bird in the world. -You know that the statue on the dome of the state capital is actually sowing seed - not bowling. -You can drive through towns like Wahoo with a straight face. -You know what "knee high by the Fourth of July" refers to. -You list your religious preference as "Cornhusker." -You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance. -You consider using your life savings to go to the Colorado-Nebraska football game. -There's a tornado warning and you go outside to watch for it. -You think Abraham Lincoln was named after the capital of Nebraska. -"Little Smokies" are something you serve on special occasions. -You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial. -You think the "Red Sea" refers to the football stadium on Saturdays. -Using the elevator involves a corn truck. -You know cow pies aren't made of beef. -You actually buy manure. -You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon. -You think the "N" on the football helmets stands for "knowledge" -You leave your snow tires on year-round. -You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk. -You skip your mother's funeral for the first day of deer season. -You consider irrigation boots casual footwear. -You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart. -You consider any building a mall, if it's bigger than the local Wal-Mart. -Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. -You know several people who have hit a deer. -Your school classes were canceled because of the cold. -Your school classes were canceled because of the heat. -You switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. -You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition... Example: "Where's my coat at?" -You can actually locate Nebraska on the United States map. -Detassling was your first job. -You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. -You know what "cow tipping" is. -You voted for a football coach for Congress. -You can't understand why Johnny Carson ever left. From Anne S. Of Middletown, CT