You know you're from Nebraska when: 1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. 2. "Vacation" means going to Omaha for the weekend. 3. You measure distance in hours. 4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once. 5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. 6. You use a down comforter in the summer (because you run the A/C at 55 degrees). 7. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching. 8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events. 9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 10. You think of the major food groups as beer, beef, and beans. 11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them. 12. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 13. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 14. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas. 15. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, construction 16. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town. 17. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Nebraska.